S3 Point of View on Seduction Courtship and Love

- Love: biological impulse?

When we meet someone, out in the street, at the bar, at the supermarket, or at the gym and we feel suddenly attracted by her, what does it happen in our head?
What we define “love at first sight” is it really fatality or is there a rational explanation of what happens behind it? What was performed by Eros in ancient Greece, the winged god that let people fall in love with its arrows, is it simply due to a socio-biological factor?

According to some studies, in our genes there exists a fundamental information: “the instinct of survival of the species.” This is the instinct to which we owe our evolution as human species. It is a sort of primary impulse that pushes any species to transmit its own genes carefully choosing the fittest partner. Such choice happens according to criterions and behaviors that the researchers, among which sociologists, psychologists, anthropologists, have classified and carefully described.

According to these studies, a real unconscious process exists, performed by the non-rational part of the individual, for the individualization of the most eligible subject with the purpose of transmitting our own genetic patrimony. In fact, once we have selected the suitable partner, according to the criterions described in the articles of the site, the subject both male or female, performs a consistent and precise ritual, a succession of gestures and behaviors that has the purpose to communicate to the other person that we are available to a be approached. Such ritual takes the name of “courtship.”

The practice of courtship is composed by a series of “seduction signals” that are part of nonverbal communication. Knowing how to recognize these signals increases our probability of success in the conquest of the best partner and accordingly on the possibility to transmit our genetic code.

According to what we just said we can surely state that, what we like to define “love at first sight”, it’s rationally referable to a primordial instinct. Through the courtship ritual such instinct conducts us to the seduction of the partner that we unconsciously have chosen for procreating, to selfishly transmit our genes and to allow the evolution of our species.
What remains of poetry it’s the meeting casualness, in the sense that, for example, if we had stayed home rather than going to the gym we wouldn’t have met the presumed “love of our life.”

- Chemistry and love

After these observations someone will have some doubts on the existence of the “feeling of love” or can even feel offended, because, what we said merely reduces that feeling to a biological necessity, to an instinctive impulse for the preservation of the species.

The site’s purpose is to fill the gaps that are biologically intrinsic to the human nature, mostly of the male, in the fields of seduction, courtship and nonverbal language interpretation in man/woman relationships in particular, and nonverbal communication interpretation in interpersonal relationships between individuals more in general.

In our articles we try to explain, using scientific studies as a foundation, the initial phases that precede the real feeling of love. Therefore we don't deny its existence, but, on the contrary, we think that courtship and seduction contribute to its birth helping to distinguish the simple infatuation from the pure feeling.

The love described by the poets, the feeling that has inspired so many songs, that doesn’t let us sleep, that doesn't let us eat, the sense of void that we feel when she still is “the object” of our desire and doesn't belong to us yet, what we usually identify as “falling in love”, it’s nothing more than a chemical process that takes place in our body.

In fact it is our brain that stimulates the production of some enzymes which bring lack of appetite, insomnia, confusion, depression…until our desire is satisfied with “the conquest.” This way, the depression that until now has overwhelmed us, because we usually define love as an “overwhelming” feeling, suddenly turns itself into a desire to live, to escape, and to dream.

We are able, therefore, to identify these states of mind as a series of chemical-biological alterations, out of our control, created by the irrational part of our mind, that infuse in our body a myriad of wonderful feelings, the same that have inspired poets over the centuries.
Gradually this euphoria decreases; everything has the tendency to return to the normality. The daily life takes the upper hand, and, with time, we tend to get to the commonplace that ‘the marriage is the grave of love’.

In reality, according to us, it is now that the real feeling of “Love” comes to life, purged from any chemical process, from any rationalism and from any instinct. It is really now that Eros casts his dart.

- The real feeling

Love, the real feeling, is what remains after the storm.
It is a solid bond that lasts in time and that we don't even forget when the beloved person is far away or is not with us anymore. It is the affection, the trust, the respect towards this person.

Our intention is to explain the components that come into play when two subjects feel attracted to one another, what unconsciously happens between them. To understand why we are attracted by a person rather than another, and to interpret the signals that this person instinctively sends us, trying to understand when it’s time to act and when it’s time to wait. Seduction is nothing else than the path that love has to follow before becoming a solid and mature feeling. A true feeling.